Ovaries Today, Gone Tomorrow

This is sort of a hard one to write, but I sort of feel the need to write about it. At least something short, cause its almost 10pm and I have to be at the hospital at 5:30am.

I lose a part of me tomorrow that is a huge part of what makes a woman a woman. You can't see them, but come on, our ovaries do so much. More than for just having children...

I have this scary surgery tomorrow, and I'm going to wake up and nothing will be the same. 29 and in menopause. I'm not sure exactly what that means yet, because I know it is different for everyone, but its not something you expect to deal with. I guess you never expect to deal with anything that I'm dealing with at 29, but, hey, its the cards I was dealt. I'm still in the game.

I'm scared.
Probably the most I have been so far.

But when I get in bed, I'll meditate, i'll try to go to bed with a positive head, I'll listen to very relaxing music, i'll hold Nic's hand, and I'll ask for everything to go well tomorrow.

I guess this post isn't as "chin up" as usual, but you can't always be that way. I feel like i'm allowed to mourn my ovaries.


As far as my boob goes, i've got this super big wound, and I don't even think i'll mind the scar. Battle scars, cause I'm fighting. It doesn't hurt too too bad. I would have liked to have taken the ibuprofen regimen given to me, but I couldn't since this second surgery popped up so quickly (per my request...just didn't anticipate two days later hahaa).

The cats have been hilarious and they make me smile. Everyone who loves me and knows me knows how important they are to me. My family have been amazing throughout it all, but of course especially so during healing times. My honeypoo Nic is the best. He's gotta bring home the bacon so I don't see him as much as I like, but he is off tomorrow so I get to spend all the time after surgery snuggled with him.

I'm blessed with family (human and kitty alike)

Tomorrow will be ok...

Love,
Linds.

Here is a picture of Pierre and Elvis. Elvis loves shirts. ;)

Breast Surgery Today

Hey all-

This will hopefully be a quickie since it is late. I had my lumpectomy today, and so far, its not as painful as I was expecting. I guess I have to wait a little bit to hear from the doctor about the pathology.

What is crazy is that I was supposed to have my ovaries removed at the end of this month, but that seemed quite far away so I asked the surgeon if we could move it up a little. That turned into this FRIDAY. I'm really nervous about this surgery because it is much more invasive. They are planning on doing a laproscopic surgery. Hopefully everything goes as planned, and I am still an outpatient. I have to be intubated though, and I'll be in menopause afterward, and there is just a whole bunch of worry that comes along with being 29 and having your ovaries out. I am out of options, so I'm happy we are making this decision, but it doesn't stop be from being scared.

If you pray, please pray for me on this one. I have a great surgeon though, Dr Abbas at Sinai (he'll be performing the surgery at St. Joes though).

Oh yeah, I have to give myself blood thinner injections in the stomach every day for two weeks after surgery. y i k e s.

Anyway, as soon as I'm feeling up to it after surgery, i'll update everyone.

Love,
Linds